We are a collaborative group of Latinos from Chicago who find ourselves in places unknown to generations before us.
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18 May 10

Mixed Race U.S.

A lot of my friends tell me that they don’t consider me as identifying as mixed race. I’m always troubled by this considering that growing up inter-ethnic-ly has been a huge issue in my life, filling me with doubt, confusion, feelings of rejection and searches for “ethic authenticity,” eventually culminating in an academic pursuit which seeks to examine the exclusive concept of race and ways in which it can and is being made more flexible.

While doing research for another project I came across Census statistics from 2000 claiming that only 2.4% of respondents replied that they were of more than 1 race. This in a country that is famed as the “melting pot”! The largest “single race” group marked “White alone” counting for 75% of respondents. I don’t know about anyone else, but these statistics seem off. Decades after the Civil Rights movement, racial mixing, or at least admission of racial mixing is at an abominable level, and it seems like the “one-drop” rule is still in practice. Is “Whiteness” being privileged here, or is this an actual reflection of society? I am not qualified to accurately say what is going on here, and sometimes the weird responses I get about “what are you?” make me think that yes, I would be discouraged to identify as mixed-race when people are constantly searching for a one-sided answer or an easy definition.

Not surprisingly, the top 2 reported categories of racial mixing are “White and American Indian” (for political reasons? such as claiming govt. benefits?), “White and Asian” (many people have heard me point out this astonishing trend” and “White and Black,” then “Black and American Indian” totaling less than 3% of the respondents. Where are the Latinos????

Anyway, its something to think about.

24 Jan 10
04 Jan 10

Graduate School in the Humanities: Just Don’t Go

From the Chronicle of Higher Education

Nearly six years ago, I wrote a column called “So You Want to Go to Grad School?” (The Chronicle, June 6, 2003). My purpose was to warn undergraduates away from pursuing Ph.D.’s in the humanities by telling them what I had learned about the academic labor system from personal observation and experience.

It was a message many prospective graduate students were not getting from their professors, who were generally too eager to clone themselves. Having heard rumors about unemployed Ph.D.’s, some undergraduates would ask about job prospects in academe, only to be told, “There are always jobs for good people.” If the students happened to notice the increasing numbers of well-published, highly credentialed adjuncts teaching part time with no benefits, they would be told, “Don’t worry, massive retirements are coming soon, and then there will be plenty of positions available.” The encouragement they received from mostly well-meaning but ill-informed professors was bolstered by the message in our culture that education always leads to opportunity.

All these years later, I still get letters from undergraduates who stumble onto that column. They tell me about their interests and accomplishments and ask whether they should go to graduate school, somehow expecting me to encourage them. I usually write back, explaining that in this era of grade inflation (and recommendation inflation), there’s an almost unlimited supply of students with perfect grades and glowing letters. Of course, some doctoral program may admit them with full financing, but that doesn’t mean they are going to find work as professors when it’s all over. The reality is that less than half of all doctorate holders — after nearly a decade of preparation, on average — will ever find tenure-track positions.

The follow-up letters I receive from those prospective Ph.D.’s are often quite angry and incoherent; they’ve been praised their whole lives, and no one has ever told them that they may not become what they want to be, that higher education is a business that does not necessarily have their best interests at heart. Sometimes they accuse me of being threatened by their obvious talent. I assume they go on to find someone who will tell them what they want to hear: “Yes, my child, you are the one we’ve been waiting for all our lives.” It can be painful, but it is better that undergraduates considering graduate school in the humanities should know the truth now, instead of when they are 30 and unemployed, or worse, working as adjuncts at less than the minimum wage under the misguided belief that more teaching experience and more glowing recommendations will somehow open the door to a real position.

Most undergraduates don’t realize that there is a shrinking percentage of positions in the humanities that offer job security, benefits, and a livable salary (though it is generally much lower than salaries in other fields requiring as many years of training). They don’t know that you probably will have to accept living almost anywhere, and that you must also go through a six-year probationary period at the end of which you may be fired for any number of reasons and find yourself exiled from the profession. They seem to think becoming a humanities professor is a reliable prospect — a more responsible and secure choice than, say, attempting to make it as a freelance writer, or an actor, or a professional athlete — and, as a result, they don’t make any fallback plans until it is too late.

I have found that most prospective graduate students have given little thought to what will happen to them after they complete their doctorates. They assume that everyone finds a decent position somewhere, even if it’s “only” at a community college (expressed with a shudder). Besides, the completion of graduate school seems impossibly far away, so their concerns are mostly focused on the present. Their motives are usually some combination of the following:

* They are excited by some subject and believe they have a deep, sustainable interest in it. (But ask follow-up questions and you find that it is only deep in relation to their undergraduate peers — not in relation to the kind of serious dedication you need in graduate programs.)
* They received high grades and a lot of praise from their professors, and they are not finding similar encouragement outside of an academic environment. They want to return to a context in which they feel validated.
* They are emerging from 16 years of institutional living: a clear, step-by-step process of advancement toward a goal, with measured outcomes, constant reinforcement and support, and clearly defined hierarchies. The world outside school seems so unstructured, ambiguous, difficult to navigate, and frightening.
* With the prospect of an unappealing, entry-level job on the horizon, life in college becomes increasingly idealized. They think graduate school will continue that romantic experience and enable them to stay in college forever as teacher-scholars.
* They can’t find a position anywhere that uses the skills on which they most prided themselves in college. They are forced to learn about new things that don’t interest them nearly as much. No one is impressed by their knowledge of Jane Austen. There are no mentors to guide and protect them, and they turn to former teachers for help.
* They think that graduate school is a good place to hide from the recession. They’ll spend a few years studying literature, preferably on a fellowship, and then, if academe doesn’t seem appealing or open to them, they will simply look for a job when the market has improved. And, you know, all those baby boomers have to retire someday, and when that happens, there will be jobs available in academe.

I know I experienced all of those motivations when I was in my early 20s. The year after I graduated from college (1990) was a recession, and the best job I could find was selling memberships in a health club, part time, in a shopping mall in Philadelphia. A graduate fellowship was an escape that landed me in another city — Miami — with at least enough money to get by. I was aware that my motives for going to graduate school came from the anxieties of transitioning out of college and my difficulty finding appealing work, but I could justify it in practical terms for the last reason I mentioned: I thought I could just leave academe if something better presented itself. I mean, someone with a doctorate must be regarded as something special, right?

Unfortunately, during the three years that I searched for positions outside of academe, I found that humanities Ph.D.’s, without relevant experience or technical skills, generally compete at a moderate disadvantage against undergraduates, and at a serious disadvantage against people with professional degrees. If you take that path, you will be starting at the bottom in your 30s, a decade behind your age cohort, with no savings (and probably a lot of debt).

What almost no prospective graduate students can understand is the extent to which doctoral education in the humanities socializes idealistic, naïve, and psychologically vulnerable people into a profession with a very clear set of values. It teaches them that life outside of academe means failure, which explains the large numbers of graduates who labor for decades as adjuncts, just so they can stay on the periphery of academe. (That’s another topic I’ve written about before; see “Is Graduate School a Cult?” (The Chronicle, July 2, 2004.)

I fell for the line about faculty retirements that went around back in the early 90s, thanks to the infamous Bowen and Sosa Report. I still hear that claim today, from people who ought to know better. Even if the long-awaited wave of retirements finally arrives, many of those tenure lines will not be retained, particularly not now, in the context of yet another recession.

Just to be clear: There is work for humanities doctorates (though perhaps not as many as are currently being produced), but there are fewer and fewer real jobs because of conscious policy decisions by colleges and universities. As a result, the handful of real jobs that remain are being pursued by thousands of qualified people — so many that the minority of candidates who get tenure-track positions might as well be considered the winners of a lottery.

Universities (even those with enormous endowments) have historically taken advantage of recessions to bring austerity to teaching. There will be hiring freezes and early retirements. Rather than replacements, more adjuncts will be hired, and more graduate students will be recruited, eventually flooding the market with even more fully qualified teacher-scholars who will work for almost nothing. When the recession ends, the hiring freezes will become permanent, since departments will have demonstrated that they can function with fewer tenured faculty members.

Nearly every humanities field was already desperately competitive, with hundreds of applications from qualified candidates for every tenure-track position. Now the situation is becoming even worse. For example, the American Historical Association’s job listings are down 15 percent and the Modern Language’s listings are down 21 percent, the steepest annual decline ever recorded. Apparently, many already-launched candidate searches are being called off; some responsible observers expect that hiring may be down 40 percent this year.

What is 40 percent worse than desperate?

The majority of job seekers who emerge empty-handed this year will return next year, and for several years after that, and so the competition will snowball, with more and more people chasing fewer and fewer full-time positions.

Meanwhile, more and more students are flattered to find themselves admitted to graduate programs; many are taking on considerable debt to do so. According to the Humanities Indicators Project of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, about 23 percent of humanities students end up owing more than $30,000, and more than 14 percent owe more than $50,000.

As things stand, I can only identify a few circumstances under which one might reasonably consider going to graduate school in the humanities:

* You are independently wealthy, and you have no need to earn a living for yourself or provide for anyone else.
* You come from that small class of well-connected people in academe who will be able to find a place for you somewhere.
* You can rely on a partner to provide all of the income and benefits needed by your household.
* You are earning a credential for a position that you already hold — such as a high-school teacher — and your employer is paying for it.

Those are the only people who can safely undertake doctoral education in the humanities. Everyone else who does so is taking an enormous personal risk, the full consequences of which they cannot assess because they do not understand how the academic-labor system works and will not listen to people who try to tell them.

It’s hard to tell young people that universities recognize that their idealism and energy — and lack of information — are an exploitable resource. For universities, the impact of graduate programs on the lives of those students is an acceptable externality, like dumping toxins into a river. If you cannot find a tenure-track position, your university will no longer court you; it will pretend you do not exist and will act as if your unemployability is entirely your fault. It will make you feel ashamed, and you will probably just disappear, convinced it’s right rather than that the game was rigged from the beginning.

Thomas H. Benton is the pen name of William Pannapacker, an associate professor of English at Hope College, in Holland, Mich. He writes about academic culture and welcomes reader mail directed to his attention at careers@chronicle.com.

26 Dec 09
04 Dec 09
womans-word:

blackberrymolasses:

Today marks the fortieth anniversary of the death of Black Panther leader Fred Hampton. On December 4th, 1969, Chicago police raided Fred Hampton’s apartment and shot and killed him in his bed. He was just twenty-one years old. Black Panther leader Mark Clark was also killed in the raid. While authorities claimed the Panthers had opened fire on the police who were there to serve a search warrant for weapons, evidence later emerged that told a very different story: that the FBI, the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office and the Chicago police conspired to assassinate Fred Hampton.
“You can kill a revolutionary, but you can’t kill the revolution.”
He grew up in the same place I did. Rest in Power Fred Hampton.

womans-word:

blackberrymolasses:

Today marks the fortieth anniversary of the death of Black Panther leader Fred Hampton. On December 4th, 1969, Chicago police raided Fred Hampton’s apartment and shot and killed him in his bed. He was just twenty-one years old. Black Panther leader Mark Clark was also killed in the raid. While authorities claimed the Panthers had opened fire on the police who were there to serve a search warrant for weapons, evidence later emerged that told a very different story: that the FBI, the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office and the Chicago police conspired to assassinate Fred Hampton.

“You can kill a revolutionary, but you can’t kill the revolution.”

He grew up in the same place I did. Rest in Power Fred Hampton.


27 Nov 09
this year, the only tears I cried were tears of happiness, for the first time in years the holidays are not filled with trying to forget why no one calls why everyone has forgotten what family is supposed to mean, that i can’t keep pretending that it’s okay, that they’re just busy, that tomorrow i’ll be allowed in my mother’s house. not only when she’s not at work because no one will stand up for me. no one remembers that i am family too. or i was.

i don’t know what made it easy this year, whether the holidays just snuck up on me among the mounds of paper work and self-absorption, or whether this means that there is healing over time. whether this means that i’ve grown up to the point where it doesn’t drive me insane to see families that love each other. that make me think that it’s so unfair. that make me think i’m worthless because my own mother, brother, sisters can’t love me enough to fight for me. that they’ve all just given up because life was made too hard.

but this isn’t a sad story. this is a revelation that maybe my past won’t burden me forever. that being okay won’t be a performance some day. that as cherrie moraga said, sometimes you have to build your family out of nothing when yours rejects you. i wish you were all here with me right now. each and everyone of you has filled i space i didn’t think could be filled.

this year, the only tears I cried were tears of happiness, for the first time in years the holidays are not filled with trying to forget why no one calls why everyone has forgotten what family is supposed to mean, that i can’t keep pretending that it’s okay, that they’re just busy, that tomorrow i’ll be allowed in my mother’s house. not only when she’s not at work because no one will stand up for me. no one remembers that i am family too. or i was.

i don’t know what made it easy this year, whether the holidays just snuck up on me among the mounds of paper work and self-absorption, or whether this means that there is healing over time. whether this means that i’ve grown up to the point where it doesn’t drive me insane to see families that love each other. that make me think that it’s so unfair. that make me think i’m worthless because my own mother, brother, sisters can’t love me enough to fight for me. that they’ve all just given up because life was made too hard.

but this isn’t a sad story. this is a revelation that maybe my past won’t burden me forever. that being okay won’t be a performance some day. that as cherrie moraga said, sometimes you have to build your family out of nothing when yours rejects you. i wish you were all here with me right now. each and everyone of you has filled i space i didn’t think could be filled.


21 Nov 09

Alone…. a little

When a Latino moves away, I mean far away… all the way to Santa Barbara-way. The world hits you hard.

Remember your Latina mom that washed your clothing and cooked for you, and that every time she did you had to reprimand her and tell her that she shouldn’t. The reason was because she should do something for herself and also that when you do move away you wouldn’t know how to do anything. That was a long battle for me, even when I moved out to the north side of Chicago she’d want me to bring my dirty clothes home… of course I negotiated, I did it once a month. Here in Cali this option doesn’t work, air and ground is too expensive. Half the battle I won in Chicago, the other battle was fought alone here in Califas.

Moving away is having to learn to do things alone. I hate eating alone, watching tv/movies alone, working out alone, and s-l-e-e-p-i-n-g alone.

You always see those old people at the diners, alone, or at the grocery store buying stuff, alone. I always said I didn’t want to become like them, but you know what, I can see how it happens. I just have to say, I may be doing things alone, but I don’t have to like it or get used to it. I’m not dependent or anything like that, I just really like to share things I do with my friends, family, and other loved ones.

15 Nov 09

Striving for “Goodness”

Goodness

Let us make goodness more stalwart, my friends. Good, too, is the knife that excises the rotten flesh and the worm; and good is the fire burning in the forest, that the good plow might cleave the earth.

Let us make goodness more resolute, my friends. Every weakling with weepy eyes and delicate words, every cretin with obscure motives and condescending gestures, wears goodness, awarded by you, like a locked door closed to our examination. We need to call men good who are men of honorable heart, men who are not two-faced, who are humble.

See that the word “good” makes itself patty to the vilest complicities, and confess that when you have said “good,” it was always-or almost always-a lie. The time has come to stop lying, for, after all, we are responsible only to ourselves, and in private we are consumed with remorse for our falseness, and, as a result, live locked inside ourselves, within the four walls of our astute stupidity.

Good men will be those who most swiftly free themselves from this terrible lie and learn to speak out with obstinate goodness against whatever deserves it. Goodness that marches, not with someone, but against someone. Good that does not toady or flatter, but gives its all in the battle, since good is the principal weapon of life.

And so, only those who are of honorable heart will be called good, those who are not two-faced, the unbowed, the best. They will vindicate goodness, which is rotting from such baseness; they will be the defenders of life and the rich in spirit. And theirs, only theirs, is the kingdom of earth. — Written By: Pablo Neruda

Is “goodness” something that you are born with, or something that you acquire on your daily travels through life? Is goodness something that you learn or is it something that is innate, lurking in the depths of your conscience waiting for its chance to emerge? Neruda seems to think that “goodness” is not a label we assign to ourselves, but a state of being, a moment of action. It is our actions that make us good. We can lie to ourselves, but in that moment of absolute vulnerability, when we are alone beyond the judging gaze of the world, we find the truth. The truth is that a deliberate effort must be made to be good, and it is only when you realizes this, when your goodness is stacked against its antithesis (selfishness, greed, jealousy), that we can move beyond the “four walls of your astute stupidity.”

We have to feel and experience that which is not good to truly understand what it means to be good, because after all that’s truly the “principle weapon of life.”

10 Nov 09
Ester Hernandez - Immigrant Woman’s Dress

this dress, thin and translucent, hems and edges made heavy with the weight sewn in.
delicate stitches holding in all those coins.
making sure they don’t rattle, so no one knows what’s inside.
but it’s skin is translucent and thin.
silk organza.
that the light reveals all it’s worth.
pouches of gold beads. 
and chili powder to defend the treasure
kept close to the body.
cold coins warming against the skin.
in the collar,
in the hem that scrapes the ground in the motion of a bent back.
and with time, the borders that the dress has crossed,
the promises sewn in with needle and thread.
mean much more than its contents.

Ester Hernandez - Immigrant Woman’s Dress

this dress, thin and translucent, hems and edges made heavy with the weight sewn in.
delicate stitches holding in all those coins.
making sure they don’t rattle, so no one knows what’s inside.
but it’s skin is translucent and thin.
silk organza.
that the light reveals all it’s worth.
pouches of gold beads.
and chili powder to defend the treasure
kept close to the body.
cold coins warming against the skin.
in the collar,
in the hem that scrapes the ground in the motion of a bent back.
and with time, the borders that the dress has crossed,
the promises sewn in with needle and thread.
mean much more than its contents.


03 Nov 09