almost there
I’m finding out how hard goodbyes are. It’s probably because I’ve never done a “real” goodbye. I’m not happy I’m leaving, but I’m not sad either. I’m not reacting as I imagined I should or would be, which is wailing with river of tears that I’m leaving almost everything I’ve come to know and love. My guess is I’m the result of a prominent film industry that has told me how people should act at goodbyes.
Outside of this, all the goodbyes have been very easy and this is only because I haven’t had to say goodbye to my family (mostly my mom) and my girlfriend. It’s also because what’s going to happen is so unreal. I think if I had said goodbye going to into my first year as an undergrad in another state it would have been just fine. I didn’t develop a career, deep relationships, and the economic downturn hadn’t hit so close to home. The truth now is that my parents need my help and there is a hint of abandonment on my part. Although I’m doing something 1% of the Latino population gets to do, it does lack instant gratification and the money to help anyone. It’s really only 2 more days in Chicago before I lose my glorious city. I’ll probably do all my crying on the plane.
-carlos
